22.6.14

What I've noticed on the saturday night after chemo is shortness of breath in the night. Ive looked back over my blog and its definitely a pattern.
So last night was not the most comfortable of nights sleep. If i breath in deeply (but slowly) i can feel that 'catch' that I've complained of before. Yes i hear you. Me??? Complain???? It takes my breath away when i do it. I also have a bit of a sore throat, but no temp, so I'm ok.
You must have noticed I'm not complaining as much as normal tho? Yes, have you noticed? Anyone?
I don't mean to moan. I just want it all written down for anyone who's interested, or maybe going through something similar, but also for me to look back and find a pattern, as i have done today.
Anyway, although i didn't feel like it, i gave the garage another coat of paint, so the main bit is done. Just need to make it look nice with pots and stuff.
Maybe later after i have re-acquainted with Judge Judy for an hour or two. She's got balls, that woman!
Sams just moved some lavendered chimney pots for me. Still got the door to paint, the bed in front of the garage to sort (membrane and stones and pots on top) and i have some plates i may or may not put on the wall. Hopefully the lavender will start to flower soon and so we get a flash of colour.
Seems like months ago when it was covered in ivy and Sam and i pulled it all down. Oh yes, it was months ago!

 

I had to put this photo on cos i think they are a treasure of nature.  Beautiful colour and shape. Love them. Hope they self seed so they're all over the place next year. 

An evening of Big Brother. Nothing better than watching idiots show themselves up. I know they're young, but really! I don't know what the attraction is for me. Its the same with TOWIE. Its all such a set up but i can't stop watching people press the self destruct button. 

Even so, i don't know why i have to fall asleep during it, only for 10 minutes,  and then i can't sleep properly.

So I'm now lying in bed, the fan going cos I'm hot, and I'm ready for sleep but wide awake. 

The only thing i can do is to let my mind go wandering over the near future of my last chemo. Imagine how I'm gonna feel knowing its my last one in 3 weeks time. The thought of no more steroids. No more cannulas. No more side effects. Its truly magical thinking of it. Who'd have thought id be here this time last year?

Has it changed me? Yes it has but Im not sure how yet. I think i won't know the answer to that until its all over. 

Im gonna put my magical wandering shoes on and meander through my favourite thought. Wander through to number 12. See you in the morning and back to reality.

Nighty night.