Tuesday 23 September 2014

21.9.14

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday dear Jilly, happy birthday to me. Hurrah!
Went to Binnies for brekky with Sharon this morning. It was closed! Went to the Silver Lounge!!! Nice name for a greasy spoon cafe. The brekky was ok, but not a Binnies brekky. Nice to chat with Sharon tho.
A bit of gardening. Cut the snowberries back cos they're poisonous to dogs. Need to either do a tip trip or burn the lot of it.
Round to Linda and Ians for a BBQ this evening in my honour. It was lovely. A couple of glasses of prosecco. Ive been a right alki this weekend what with the wedding and my birthday.
And now listening to the noise the dogs are making. I'm tempted to put the snowberries back in the garden!!!
Its the first night of putting the puppy downstairs instead of in my room. He lost his voice from barking for so long the first 2 nights and gave himself an upper respiratory infection. So I've gradually moved the crate further and further away from my bed. Now he's downstairs and very close to Dot and Ruby. All i can hear is him yapping and the girls howling cos they're sick to death of it!
Ive googled it. Apparently its a thing with Maltese Terriers. It seems I'm lucky that he goes in his crate and sleeps all night. So i shall continue for him to be in the crate in my room for a while.
And he sleeps like a dream!!!
Back to work tonight! 2 night duties this week. I can't believe I've been off for 6 months, it seems like 5 minutes. Shame i couldn't enjoy the 6 months!
I never thought id get through it all!

Saturday 20 September 2014

20.9.14

He's not blind, the sun was in his eyes!
The wedding was lovely. I had such a good time. It was full of laughter.
Lyn looked so happy, it was lovely to see. Martin was protective of his new wife. It was just lovely. Met some people i hadn't seen for a long time.
The weather started off dull and rainy but it become a beautiful balmy indian summer day.
Did i drink!!!!! Thats not a question, more a statement.
I must have had about 4 glasses of prosecco, which is a humungus amount for me.
My poem went down well. Everyone seemed to enjoy it.

Lyn and Martins Wedding Day.

On this, Lyn and Martins wedding day, theres a couple of things id like to say.
Ive known Lyn for 22 years when Sam and Ryan started school, little dears!
In all that time weve had some fun, holidays, outings and the odd cake or bun!
Weve been to Centre Parcs with all the gang, weve cycled and swam, danced and sang.
With Carly and Ryan, Chris, Sam and Joe. The laughs we had, you’ll never know!
Canaries and Majorca and even Alaska. Im sure she enjoyed it, go an ask her.
Sea lions and whales, glaciers and blue ice, plenty of food and drink, all very nice.
But there’ve been times ive been sad and shes been there for me 
And shes buzzed round me like a busy busy bee.
She always has a smile and she has a heart thats kind
She’d do anything for anyone, i think you’d find.
Shes done cleaning and washing, and decorating too
With her gadgets to help and her paint splattered shoes
A bag full of rollers, all different shades, and loads of sandpaper all different grades
The scaffolding she climbed, i remember her go
But the paint and brushes she left down below!
She makes me giggle with all her antics and at time she makes me quite frantic.
Her ability to text or to use a mobile phone, even after the many times shes been shown.
I told her id ring her when i arrived in town, but every time i did, it just made me frown!
She would click on connect just like she ought, then click disconnect, and make me fraught
But we managed to meet and go and eat cake, at a garden centre or in town or even a wake!
Shes always the one to get a good deal, when i say a good deal, its almost a steal! 
Her car she got cheap and even a bouquet, whilst all the staff hid and some ran away.
She always gives flowers when the moment arises and theyre always bouquets of gargantuan sizes.
I dont know lots about our Mart, but ive been told he has a good heart
I know he likes a glass of Jack, and it takes a lot to get him on his back
He likes chocolate too, just like Lyn, dont know how he manages to stay so thin!
Between them theyre a lovely pair. Its nice to see them want to share
Their lives together now they are wed. And now for the first time they can share a bed!
Just lately ive had needs, special some would say, and Lyn has rallied round and really saved the day.
Shes walked my pups in a regular style, whilst ive laid in bed watching jeremy kyle.
She even attended my last chemo day, and entertained me in her usual way.
She waited on me whilst i went through hell and even videoed me when i rang the bell.
She’s a bit of a gem, a good old stick, well done Martin, shes a good wife to pick.
So i hope you both enjoy your day, im sure we all would like to say.

Congratulations to a wonderful pair, but at your age on your wedding night, please take care!

Its a shame its all over now. I want to go to another one!
So today will be spent recovering. A bit of toilet training and trying to lose the pound of weight that i put on yesterday! A little bit, and i mean a very little bit, of gardening.



Friday 19 September 2014

16.9.14

A day spent toilet training the little minx. His cough seems worse, poor little thing. But he's still happy to tear around like a blue ar*ed fly.
I got an email from P&O regarding our cruise. The tickets are ready to download and print! So exciting!
All done. Just need to count down the days. First i have a London trip with Mary tho. Something to look forward to. Were gonna paint the town red. I don't know why  i say that. Im a pussy cat now. Noe energy to paint anything in red or any other colour!! Don't know what the plans are other than dinner with my Joe and Marys Hannah, and a show - Wicked. Its gonna be good.
The rest of the day was spent intermittently toilet training and dozing after the little puppy kept me up in the night coughing.
A chemo update!!! Thats what its all about!!!
I mentioned my fingers have been very tender just recently. I never had it during chemo, but seem to have got it when i finished. It makes it difficult to open jars etc! Well that seems to have gone to a large degree, but the fatigue...... unbelievable. I feel sooooo tired. I don't think its cos I've overdone things, cos i haven't done much this week, lazy cow! 
Today I've had an eye test and my eyes have worsened, not that they're that bad. My glasses are usually a 1.75. Now they're a 2.00. Is it the chemos fault, or would it have done that anyway?
Ive also had my hair dyed a darkish reddy brown. As usual, i don't like it. Maybe it will grow on me. Get it? Grow on me!!! Nobody has said they prefer it, they all like it better lighter. Chris said i look like a lego figure!!! 
I should have left it well alone. But i never learn do i?
I now have a virus! Im coughing and sneezing, bunged up and feeling rough. I wonder if i feel so bad cos of the chemo? Its always a question with every aspect of my life. 'I wonder if its the chemo!'
Lavender. Ive been in the garden and cut some lavender to hang in the kitchen. I left some lavender too late and it was too dead looking, but a few bushes have some flowers on it. 
Amazing isn't it? At least 30 stems!!! I shan't take it up as a business.
Tomorrow is wedding day. Not mine unfortunately, or fortunately, I'm really not sure which. Its Lyn and Martins wedding. I have to go and sort my outfit out in a minute, see if I'm wearing a fascinator, what jewellery etc. I think my short red hair is fascinating enough! And no doubt i'll be whinging about it irritating me. 
Its a lovely venue, Harbour Heights Hotel in Sandbanks. Hope the weather is nice. 
Ive written a poem! Its quite humorous but knowing what I'm like at the mo, i will get emotional. Red hair and mascara down my face! Ill look lovely.







Tuesday 16 September 2014

13.9.14

Its Loki (pronounced Locky) the god of mischief. And I'm not changing it again.
I had a light bulb moment. I was just telling Sam that when i chose Dottie and Ruby, i just knew it was right. I said Locky. Sam said Loki. And bang, that was it.
Lovely day.
I met Chris Asprin (Aspin) for lunch at Frankie and Bennys. BBQ chicken, corn on the cob, coleslaw and chips, followed by chocolate brownie sundae. The main was lovely, the pud wasn't! The brownie was as hard as a brick. Thats gods way of saying you're fat, go on a diet!
Ive lost 10 - 11 lbs, probably put 5 on after lunch!
Back to being good tomorrow.
Then i went on a date!!!!!
Frank. He seems nice and lives fairly near to me (the next road). And he can talk as much as i can!
We'll see.
Today, sunday, i may go to a car boot sale! I know how to live life on the edge.
I have a little table that i want to mosaic, so i need some plates to smash.
However, I didn't go to the car boot. I chopped down some bushes in the front garden instead. Still loads more tho.  An epic job for me. There was spiders and bugs everywhere. Im so brave!
Then i spent time watching the dogs. Its so funny watching Loki, and he makes such funny noises.
He sleeps in a crate next to my bed at the mo and i hear him shaking (killing) a big fluffy toucan that keeps him company in his crate. Im hoping he'll get used to it here and stop his yapping at night. Im moving his crate further and further away until i can take it downstairs!!!
And now its monday. Choir starts today and I'm really looking forward to it. The last time i went there feeling good was in january. Today I'm gonna sing my heart out. Im hoping the singing will strengthen my lungs after the chemo damage.  Kill or cure!!! Chemo and choir!!!
Took Loki to the vet today. I felt he had kennel cough, and he does, as well as a respiratory viral infection which had been worsened by his yapping when i left him to sleep downstairs in his crate for the first 2 nights!!! He yapped for hours, so much so that he lost his voice!!! Its not nice for the little chap, and its not nice for me being woken in the night by him choking.
Rock choir was epic!!! We sang Viva la Vida, not my fave song, but when we sing it as a choir i get over my likes and dislikes.
Lawrence was back. He's one of our gang, the naughty gang! He's been away for about 18 months and he missed us too much!! And of course, Jenni was there, my partner in crime. Ali and Claire were there. They are sopranos as opposed to myself, Jenni and Lawrence being basses. When they sing their part, we pull faces and are suggestive towards them, very juvenile, i know, but we enjoy it.
We have song sheets for each song we sing, for when we start a new song. Some how, and i don't know how, Jenni managed to drop hers and it went into the chair of the man in front, trapping it there for about 15 minutes! It may seem very unfunny to everyone, but for the trio of naughties, we found it highly amusing and we giggles and guffawed for ages.
Here is a photo of the said incident!
See, nothing funny at all!!!




Saturday 13 September 2014

11.9.14

Well i have been busy.
Since getting back from Chris's house, I've been to the bank and paid in, I've taken a bottle of vinegar tasting Prosecco back to M&S, I've taken 6 dead lavenders back to Haskins and got 6 live ones, and I've bought a puppy!
Yes you heard right - i need a frontal lobotomy. Im blaming it on the drugs, as i do for most things. I was toying with getting a kitten. I miss not having a cat around the house. But my worry is if it gets run over. We're not on a busy road, but the cars go quite fast. Faster than 30mph I'm sure!
I have more control over dogs than cats. Even so, thats not a good enough excuse for getting number 3. However........ i saw a maltese terrier on TV. Ive loved these ever since a friend of mine got one and called him Badger. He's so well behaved, so well trained. But i think thats her hard work rather than a maltese trait.
So having seen one on TV i decided, stupidly, to google them and found one called Lucky for sale. 9 weeks old. Before i knew it i was in the car with Sam, sat nav set for Chessington - World of Adventures!


Hes edible isn't he? Im struggling with names. But its been narrowed down to  Baxter, Louie, or Scruffy. I like a name ending in y or ie, so Baxters out really. Scruffy is Sams preference out of the 2  so i think its probably gonna be Scruffy.
Needless to say I've got my work cut out for me now. But he keeps me busy, and he keeps me happy. And thats the main thing.
Trying to entertain him outside so we can catch any wee wees or poo poos. I did a bit of gardening and noticed a buzzard circling over head. Whether he was after 'Scruffy' or the chickens that live nearby, i really don't know. I did take a photo!!!! But I'm sure you remember my bird photos from before!!!!
Yes, as usual, useless. I zoomed in and saw 2 black smudges. But i tell you, i saw the whites of his eyes, he must have been about 20 foot away.
Talking of birds, theres a pile of feathers in the garden this morning! Somethings visited, maybe the buzzard, and removed a pidgeon from my garden. 
Another day, another name!! Its Hugo now! Everytime i mention another name, Sam says 'No'! 

Monday 8 September 2014

7.9.14

Easy like sunday morning!
Ive been at Chris's house since friday evening.
Far from easy!!! 9 dogs in the house so a few altercations. 9 dogs getting very dusty from walkies, and covered with grass seeds, my clothes are filthy! I didn't bring any wellies or shoes so I've borrowed Chris's wellies and i have blisters.
Foxes screaming at night, and Onion, cock a doodle dooing.
Other than that, its been great. Chloes cooked some lovely meals and Angie (Chris's carer) has been very helpful, making cups of tea etc. Such a sweet lady.
Ive not done my usual job of deadheading the wild rose bush. But it doesn't look like it needs it.
Its absolutely covered in flowers. Beautiful. And to think Chris wanted to dig it up!
Its lovely having visitors on a sunday lunchtime, but not when they come armed with a hundred copies of the watchtower!
And I'm not even in my own house.
If Chris had answered the door, i have visions of him chasing them down the lane in his wheelchair shouting, 'Gerrof my land!'
I pointed out it was sunday and one of them (they always come in pairs, maybe for support when they hear abuse) said, 'yes we come out on sundays too!'
I replied, 'you shouldn't be knocking at peoples doors on a sunday (I meant any day really). We're trying to relax and see family. Ive just had chemo and you're disturbing me.'
They were very apologetic.
I went to shut the door and she said, 'Do you want one of these' meaning the watchtower.
'No i don't,' i said with attitude.
I believe in 'live and let live', but i get so annoyed at people preaching on my doorstep, even if it wasn't my own doorstep! If i wanted a copy of the watchtower or wanted to find out more about this religion, id go and find out. How would they like it if i knocked on their door and started telling them all about scrapbooking, or wine tasting, or maybe about the karma sutra?
They are intruders!
Anyway, a nice weekend, but I'm looking forward to going home tomorrow. My own bed is calling.
Im in my bed..... heaven.


Friday 5 September 2014

5.9.14

Today is Dr Jack day. I will be enquiring about my scan results and asking about the 'area' in my groin that was high lighted. And i will also be ogling him!!!
Met Linda at M&S. Every so often they have a fashion show for the Premier Club, of which i am a member! You get to try some new foods and drink and see clothes that they hope you will want to buy when you see a weird looking woman with weird hair modelling them. Well we queued to get into the 'arena'. Just about got through as they were counting heads cos of 'fire and safety' (we're on the shop floor with a rope barrier round!!!). Helped myself to a paper plate with a mini flapjack, brownie and one of those marshmallow teacakes. A cheese straw, mini cupcake  and a plastic glass (a contradiction in terms) of bucks fizz. All the seats were taken by people, all with hair! I was the only baldie there! Nobody offered me a seat! There was about 8 of us lesser mortals stood up, no seats available to us. We stood there like spare parts, a plate of food in one hand and a plastic glass in the other. No table to put our drink down so we could sample the nibbles! I asked the nice lady at the barrier if there was anywhere to put our drinks.
'No' she replied, 'its not very well organised is it?'
'How do i eat my food?' i asked.
No answer.
We decided to leave the 'arena' and head for the coffee shop. We would eat the food there and have a coffee with it. Got to the cafe, full to bursting and a long queue.
So we enjoyed our party nosh on one of the sofas in the furniture department, with a nice oak table to put our drinks on! We did get some weird looks!
Time for my visit with my favourite haematologist.
Sat with our cup of free hot chocolate in the Harbour hospital, we waited for himself to call me in.
He came into the waiting area and smiled warmly. He didn't even call my name, he sort of tipped his head in the direction of his office. Very familiar, i thought!
'How are you, you're looking good!'
He obviously wants me!
His next comment, 'You've got more hair than me now! Is that your natural colour or are you a bottle blonde!'
How very dare he!
He sat across the desk from me, both of us wishing Linda wasn't there so that we could whisper sweet nothings! But she was there, so we didn't.
He talked of my scan results, how they were very good. He expects me to be cured for good of lymphoma considering my scan results now and previously. He said i should use sunblock to prevent skin cancer. A possibility of a secondary cancer in 10 to 15 years. Stay vigilant.
He would keep a close eye on me (what a lovely thought) for the next 2 years in particular (if i don't relapse by  then, I'm not likely to), but for 5 years, or more. I will have bloods done to check my ESR. But my ESR (erythrocyte sedimentation rate - a check for inflammation in the body) is always unstable and erratic. So i may need a scan if theres any worries. Either way, i shouldn't worry about a thing.
I mentioned to him about my veins being very hard.
He had a look. He held my hand and stroked where the veins are, gently, moving his hand in soft delicate strokes..... oops sorry, i got carried away then!
'Thats the worse case of calcification I've ever seen!'
My reply.........'Go me!'
He says they won't get any better, thats it! The chemo has well and truly wrecked my veins.
I asked if it were normal that i should feel 20 years older?
His reply..........'Yes you've had some pretty strong stuff injected into you!'
So its official, I am a crock!
He ordered me to have some bloods, and that was it. I won't see him for another 3 months - 12 whole weeks to sit and wait.
He does make me laugh. He's very absent minded. He said, 'Ive lost my pencil, oh I've found it, its in my pocket!' That tickled me!
So i had bloods taken. It wasn't my usual nurse Kelly, it was the resident houseman (doctor) who struts around in smart navy scrubs. He's taken blood from me before. He seems to think its a bit of a science, takes it all very seriously. Makes him feel important i suppose. Last time he ordered Linda to stand by the window - why, we don't know.
So today, he ordered Linda to stand by the window. She snorted a little which made me laugh which i had to disguise as a cough! He asked me to pump my hand whilst he put on the tourniquet, and to hold my fist closed whilst he prodded my veins to see where the plumpest one was. As he prodded the central one, i commented, 'thats usually the best one for blood!'
OMG the look he gave me!!! He looked me in the eye and then smiled. The smile that suggests he is the doctor, not me and that i should shut the f**k up!
What a twat!
Again Linda snorted a little and disguised it by shuffling about a bit.
We walked out of the hospital like grown ups and into the car, both shouting 'What an asshole!' and then laughing like lunatics.
Home again in time to pack the car and travel to Chris's house for the weekend.
And to bed to dream of Dr Jack and that desk!!!

Thursday 4 September 2014

3.9.14

Yay....... been for a weigh in and put a pound on!! Thats what happens when you have a weekend away i suppose! But I've still lost half a stone all in all. This week should be better. I have nothing exciting planned which involves food.
Im hoping this afternoon (i have a massage scheduled) to have a stone of ugly fat massaged away! If only it were that easy.
Went to visit Chris yesterday and i took Linda with me.
He's got his 6 rescue chickens now. They're so funny. They don't know how to get into the coop, or go up the ramp to their bedroom. I suppose they haven't got the strength in their legs as they've not had room to walk, let alone climb a ramp. One has a dodgy wing. Chris has named her 'Spesh' short for special! They were gonna take that one back with them but Chris insisted he keep her.
His other 2 - Sage and Onion aren't too keen on the newbies. Onion tried to drop kick one of the rescues, so he's had to separate them until they're more used to each other.
Strangely, after Onion became aggressive, the next morning Chris heard, 'Cock-a-doodle-doo' at a very unsociable time. Yes.....Onion is a cock! If he carries on with that racket at that time of the morning, he'll be shipped out!
This morning, before Slimming World,  i had the job of visiting the doctors surgery to collect my new prescription and then go the the chemist to have the prescription filled. Just a quick job, won't take long!
They couldn't find the script so had to wait for another one to be written.
One parking spot outside the chemist, i indicated to park there, and a man drove in before i had chance. Theres some nice people around! I had the desire to run my key along his car whilst he ran into the florist.  No doubt buying flowers for a woman he's trying to make out he's nice to!
Another parking incident for me today, but a more positive one. I went for my massage in Wimborne. Arrived at the car park and the pay machine had a note on it saying 'not working'. I took a photo for proof, and thought id better try to pay and the 60p that i put in was ejected, but it wasn't 60p. It was about £1.50. I tried again and got another couple of pounds out. Its nice when things like that happen, just a shame i didn't gain a few thousand rather that a couple of pounds.
However, my cough seems to be marginally better, so hallelujah for that.
Time to get up and shower. I have a visitor at 10. Well actually, the visitor is not here for me, he's coming to see the girls. Its Buddy, Lyns black lab. Im dog sitting him today. Were all gonna do a bit of gardening!