30.4.14

Good morning.
Number 7 went according to plan except my lovely nurse Lizzie failed to cannulate me the first time so there was a lot of to-ing and fro-ing with the needle in my arm, followed by 'lets start again', which was nice!
But she got it in, and we're off!
Saw Dr Jack.
I don't think he fancies me anymore, now I'm fat and bald  and my eyebrows and lashes are thinning!
Very sweetly of him he mentioned id put weight on. I told him it was his fault for giving me steroids. He said i should try to eat healthier (i have cravings for carbs whilst on steroids) and get some exercise (walks and stuff), even if i feel lousy. Easy for him to say.
He examined my chest (just for a sneaky peak at my new larger bustenhalter, i would think). He said, 'You're pulse is quite high.'
I replied, 'thats cos you're in the room!'
He smiled, or was it wind?
I mentioned id been short of breath and had a cough but he said my chest was good (cheeky thing!) and maybe its cardiac, so guess who's now booked in for an ECG and more lung function tests?
For some reason i wasn't feeling wonderful before i left home, and being in the Dorset Cancer Centre doesn't help my feeling of wellbeing at the best of times, so it wasn't a day full of fun that Linda and I usually have. She of course was an angel. She gets me drinks, and food, and  she rubbed my feet for ages. It was heavenly.
I suggest she starts a business of being a chemo buddy, cos she'd be a millionaire. You could NEVER get anyone better. She's the most caring, thoughtful, sensitive and giving person i know and I'm so glad she's my bestie. I love her to bits. She just gives and gives.
So that was that. Chemo finished. Injection in tummy and the race begins to get home as quick as possible. One of my previous nurses made a comment as i left. 'Bye love, take care. You weren't as noisy as you normally are!' I don't know what she means!!!!
Got home, kissed me Linda, and up to bed.
OMG it was not nice. I shook and shook. Like the flu shivers. It went on for about hour and a half.
I felt nauseous when the shakes stopped, so nibbled on some digestives (75 cals each i believe) and felt a bit better. By 6pm i felt even better, still dizzy and headachy, but much better.
Sam brought me up a small bowl of curry which i ate the rice and sauce.
Curry? You might think that an odd choice of food when feeling ill. But to be fair, everything tastes the same at this stage. Again its the carbs I'm after.
Slept remarkably well!
And woken feeling ok. Haven't got out of bed yet tho!
I don't think i will be running a marathon today but I'm feeling like i could. The euphoria when the nausea etc goes, and you wake to find out how you're feeling following intensive chemo.
I didn't know that! I read something the other day that said its not an easy chemo, but wasn't convinced. Dr Jack said its not the worst chemo you can have, but it is a harsh one, very intensive! No wonder I've been feeling rough.
Oh yes, he also said if my health deteriorated, i.e. my lungs heart or liver were damaged, he may stop one of the cycles (thats 2 doses). Theres no point treating the cancer if i die from something else!
Which has just reminded me of a man i nursed many years ago. Ive got a feeling he may have had lymphoma. He was treated and treated, and he died. I remember seeing Prof Hamblin with his head in his hands in the office and he said to me, 'That man is cancer free and he's just died of exhaustion.'
So i spose thats what Dr Jack means.
The thought of dropping a cycle makes me happy, but then fills me with anguish. Will the lymphoma return?
Oh the joys of life.
You never know whats round the corner. Its best to enjoy your life as much as you can. Thats what i hope to do when i can walk more than 200 yards without coughing, wheezing of having to slow down!
Anyway I've rambled on for far too long. I may write another blog later if i have anything exciting to say, but i doubt that!