21.4.14

I am taking this opportunity to write my blog now, whilst I'm not sobbing! Don't feel sorry for me cos its not proper tears. Im a fraud. I don't feel sad particularly. I just have this inability to control myself, the same as every day 6 of chemo.
I cried just now about a little boy in Africa who was going blind, it was an ad on TV.
I then cried about a lost dog on Facebook.
And i have no doubt i shall cry a few more times today. I suppose it gives me something to do on a boring day.
It shouldn't be a boring day. The sun is shining. But I'm feeling rough today. Not hideously so, so I'm not crying about that, although I'm sure i'll have a go later!!!
My bones are aching today, as is my throat/digestive system. Same old, same old!
But quite surprisingly, I'm not eating myself stupid today! I think i have some underlying nausea. Sometimes all the symptoms mingle and you're not sure what you're feeling.
One weird thing tho....
Ive noticed about day 5 or 6 i feel like i have a cannula being put into a vein in my arm, or taken out, or even just in situ. It aches, and i really don't like it.
As you can see from my photo, my arm is bruised. I find when the nurses take the cannulas out if they don't press for long enough (or let me do it!) on the site, i get bruised. Its not rocket science.
I remember a young houseman at Boscombe Hospital many years ago, (1980) once telling me off for removing the cottonwool too soon off a blood test site.
'Have you never heard of vascular necrosis?'
I get his point, but he was a bit of an arse if i remember correctly. Not one of the doctors with charisma, looks, or a self induced idea of his own godliness.
He's probably a high flying haematologist now. Bet he wouldn't bruise a poor chemo patient!

I really shouldn't complain about feeling bad. Ive felt so good this time. Number 6 has been kind to me. Ive got to expect some discomfort, haven't I?

Anyway, I'm gonna go now. Im sure you've had enough of my grizzling and complaining, i know i have! I think its time i pull myself together. At the end of the day, and i feel strange saying this, but I'm gonna say it anyway, i have my health!! 

Ha ha thats a funny thing to say isn't it. I don't have cancer, so what am i complaining about? 

Oh god, thats made me emotional again!