28.2.14

Guess who was singing along to the radio on the way to work last night? Yes me! Thats always a good sign.
Its like someone flicks a switch inside me. One minute yuk, the next minute, fo shizzle ma nizzle!
Don't get me wrong - I'm not about to run a marathon, but hallelujah I'm feeling better.
So work's over till tuesday morning.
I walked the pups which i really enjoyed, the sun was nearly out and the girls ran around like loonies.
A nice bath and washed the thinning hair! I don't think it will be long before i resort to shaving and wearing a wig. Its so weird to comb your hair and a load of it falls out. Im wondering what i can do with all the fallen hair? Maybe stuff a cushion? Or put it in the garden for the nesting birds? Or being the creative type that i am, maybe i can use it for scrapbooking, or weave it into a knitted hat?
Then a visit to Linda for a cuppa tea. I can't sing her praises enough. She fits me like a glove. She allows me to be what i am, feel how i feel. She was something special to me BC (before cancer), but now........ i can't describe how i feel about her. Im lost for words.
So cup of tea, piece of cake, but no appetite to eat it, and a chat and a giggle and i was worn out. So home for a rest.
I even managed to change the bedlinen, something I've wanted to do for a week but wasn't up to it.
So fresh bed, a fish cake and tomato sauce for lunch (i know, but its what i fancied!), and now time to relax.
The thing I've found with well meaning people, is that they want to tell me about all the people they know, or have known, who have had cancer and how they've died! Even gruesome details sometimes. I don't take offence, it makes me smile a little. Its thoughtless, thats all. But they do mean well. Why they would think just cos i have cancer i would enjoy being told of so and so's brain tumour that killed him, and his son, and a friend who suffered badly at 'the end'?
And those that have been through chemo find it good to 'tell me the truth'. Its like, 'this person has cancer, so she's strong and can cope with the sh*t I'm about to frighten her with'.
Don't spare my feelings! Don't take into consideration that everyone is different, and just cos they had a problem, doesn't mean i will have it. Ive been told by negative worrywarts, it will get worse each time, good days will become few, it will build up, i will have a sore mouth, i will lose my libido, i will lose my hair. I may suffer all of these things...... but i may not. It really doesn't help being told negative things. Its ok to be told, 'i suffered from this when i went through it,' but it is definitely not ok to be told, 'you will suffer from this.' Cos no one knows what each person will go through.
I find if you tell me something negative, i will worry about it and make myself feel ill, so when it happens, abracadabra, i suffer the negativity.
So people - traps shut. Ok?