20.2.14

You know when you're on a diet, everything revolves around food. What you're having and when, any exercise is booked into a tight lifestyle. Clothes are thought of. Shall i wear black? Will that dress fit yet? And of course, 'does my bum look big in this?'
Well its similar for cancer and chemo. You have to plan things and give them more thought. I can't book that in next week cos i may be feeling rough. I need to take a days holiday cos thats chemo day. I need to wear something so they can get to my veins. I can't get into my jeans after all the steroids. I need to eat savoury food and make sure its either cooked or peeled.
Well its also quite strange that you forget things very quickly about chemo. In week 2 you forget how rough you felt. You forget the fact that you felt like you'd had a mouth full of salt all night giving you a strangely numb feeling. And that your teeth ache, very mildly, but they ache all the same. The headache. I suppose its your bodies way of coping and allowing you to start the next cycle without too much stress. Chemo brain helps you to forget it all.
My treatment plan is that i have 6 cycles of chemo. A cycle is 2 doses of chemo over 4 weeks. 2nd cycle starting next tuesday.
After my 4th dose (2nd cycle - its all so confusing. Why don't they just say you have 12 doses?), i get to have another PET scan. I have to wait 2 weeks after chemo and then i have to wait a week for the next chemo. Are you keeping up with all this? Im gonna ask questions later!
Well anyway, thats when i find out if the chemo is having any effect. Or better worded, what damage the chemo has done to my lymphoma!
Then i go on to cycle 3 - nearly half way through.
Its amazing how quickly it goes, and how our body copes with it.
After treatment is over and god willing you have a good result, you still have to be checked regularly. 3 monthly to start with i believe, and it carries on for years, which is good.
I think what I'm trying to say is, like the analogy to dieting, where you have to live with a food lifestyle to keep the weight off, you have to live with cancer in some way or other. You have to be vigilant without being paranoid. You have to plan things accordingly. A holiday booked in to fit with your next appointment or scan. You have to realise its had some effect on your body and you won't necessarily be able to do things you did before. You have to realise you won't get the support from all the lovely friends as you did when you were going through it, its unreasonable to think people will give you the amount of time and gifts you receive over your diagnosis and treatment. You will possibly get depressed or down after such a high feeling of being told you're in remission after the roller coaster that you've just been on.
This all seems quite daunting, but considering the amount of people who get some form of cancer, we should all learn that its not always as bad as you think. I know some people have a bad prognosis, and thats awful. But its something we should take on board is part of our lives. Its a normal these days. Positivity is good, and for me its been a help. Being nice to people is a must, no negative comments are necessary. This applies to people who aren't ill as well as to people who are ill. Its much nicer to stroke people rather than hurt them.
I really don't know where all this has come from this morning, but what I'm hoping is coming across is the fact that we should all try and live our lives to the fullest and be nice to each other.

It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.  ~Author Unknown