30.1.14

Good morning, and i mean GOOD.
Feeling so much better today. I have a couple of niggles which I'm gonna bore your with, but on the whole I'm feeling better.
First of all.... the word positive is starting to feel like a negative. It feels like a pressure that i have to adhere to, and its not supposed to be. So I'm gonna change it!
I thought empowered - to give authority or power to do something, or optimistic - hopeful and confident about the future.
Ill go with empowered for now and hope to move to optimistic further down the line.
All my support friends on the HL site empower me. They've been there, and some are still there and going through the same as me, so they understand and can empathise well and truly. I hope i can be an equally good empowerer as i get further along my journey.
Linda empowers me. Its nice she's there. She lets me talk or cry or laugh, and she lets me do what i want to do, although i still haven't talked her into rubbing my feet!
Linzi's empowered me with her stories of her own journey. She bought me ginger too and chocolate. Strangely I've not felt sick as yet so not needed the ginger, and I've had no cravings for chocolate at all. Thats very very strange, cos I'm a chocoholic. Im sure it will be back, maybe next week. In the meantime i will hide the chocolate so nobody nicks it!
Rochelle who also has her own ongoing battle has been wonderful. I was friends with her when i was about 17 - 18 and we lost contact until the last year or so. Its nice to be friends again. She gives me lots of advice and we laugh about silly things. She's amazing. She is an inspiration. Her battle is huge and ongoing. Possibly life long. And she is so empowered as well as empowering. Never have i seen her down.
Lots of friends have made offers of help and send me messages. It really helps to know they're there.
Lots of people on FB have got in contact that i haven't spoken to for a while. Thats nice. It reminds you of things in your past, gives you food for thought.
And of course my blog is empowering to me.
My other niggles are as follows:-
I have indigestion, not desperately bad, but irritating, so I've taken to chewing on orange flavoured tabs which seem to help a bit.
I also have a strange tongue!! No rude comments from the cheap seats, thank you very much. It feels like I've been sucking an ice lolly. I suppose the word I'm looking for is numb, comfortably numb.
And i don't wish to talk about such matters, but feel its important to put it all out there. Constipation. Caused by the anti emetic (anti sickness) drug that i had, steroids and chemo. A triple whammy delight. But the least of my problems.
I have become intolerant - yes, even more than i already was!!! I keep turning the radio over if the DJ's keep repeating the same story, and Jeremy Kyle is a no no at the mo. All the shouting! I can't cope with it.
Now I've told you I've gone off chocolate. Well its also coffee. I find it difficult to think about what i fancy to eat. So Sam (middle son) is constantly nipping to the supermarket, bless him. My weakness at the moment is bacon, scrambled eggs (well cooked cos we shouldn't be eating runny eggs apparently) and baked beans. Im hoping its just the steroids doing it, but its very disconcerting. Im morphing into a different person. Wonder who I'll be in 6 months?