28.1.14

Oh I'm so tired.

Well go to bed and have a nap i hear you all shout. Stop your flipping whinging!

Ive been in bed for 2 and half hours and normally i would just doze off, but no, not today. Its obviously these flipping steroids. Id stop them but they're doing me some good, other than insomnia.

At least i don't feel ill and that is the more important thing.

Luckily the steroids don't stop my mind wandering into a strange land that i would expect someone on LSD to go to.

For example, I walked the dogs round the park this morning. I noticed a lovely bird from afar. I thought it was a jay. It was definitely like a jay but i couldn't see the blue feathers at the top of the wing. My thought was, 'maybe its had chemotherapy!' I do like the fact that my mind is a little 'off the wall', but really i wonder if I'm insane at times.

My other wandering is this. If you shave your head before you're likely to lose your hair from chemo, will anything fall out? Is there like, 2mm of hair that is under your skin that will fall out? 

And, what do you wash your head with, soap and water, shower gel, or shampoo? Where do you stop with the cleanser toner and moisturiser on your face? Do you go over the top of your head?

Then of course, theres the eyebrows. Ive watched a couple of tutorials on You Tube. One drew some on a woman who still had her eyebrows. She did the '3 dot technique'. Draw three dots and fill in the line - a bit technical for me. And then theres stencils. The obvious problem is you have to get them symmetrical on your face! And is it obligatory that you do them a lot darker than you should and very stark and pointed? It seems to be the fashion at the mo, and it looks ridiculous. Nearly as ridiculous as what I'm gonna look with no hair! Im really not a Sinead O Connor lookalike. Im more like Telly Savalas!

What I'm really hoping for when the drugs get hold of my follicles, is that they manage to grab the bikini line follicles, the underarm follicles and the full leg follicles. That will save me some time, effort, and some pain. 

Now here is the sensitive bit..........moustache and beard! Mother Nature is a wicked wicked witch really. She lets us gals go through periods, PMT, child bearing, the change and then she lets us turn into men! Hairs in places we should never have hairs. A moustache and little goatee. I, of course,  don't have any of these strategically placed hairs!!! But if i did, and if they fell out, do they sell stencils on Amazon to draw them back on? Think on, and look smart!