25.11.15

For you ladies, do you remember having your first baby? You thought there was no way you would ever get baby bathed and dressed and fed, and yourself showered and dressed so that you could go out ever again. When you had the second bubba, you had it sussed, didn't you? You got yourself done, baby number one was as shiny as a new pin, and number two, maybe a little sick stain on the bib, but washed dressed and fed and you still had time to read a book to number one before you had to be at toddler group.
Im hoping cancer is the same!
The first one i was a novice. Didn't know if i could manage.  I felt the need to linger in bed longer than possible if i could, as i did with baby number one. If he slept, so did i.
By number two, I'm sure its not a walk in the park (its a far more difficult baby than number one!), but i feel more strength.
I think ill stop at two tho!!!
On a serious note, the last 2 years have been crazy. Finding out i had cancer was a rollercoaster. Its nothing, its something, its nothing.......ITS CANCER. The chemo was rough. The heart attack scary.
Friends who disappeared. And friends who dived in to support me, out of the blue. My life changed from a partying working girl to an old lady, almost. I still had the same personality but anxiety was added to the mix. Living with it afterwards has been challenging. The fear of it returning. And i think i did well with that. The support group......always there and always spot on with support. And the 'friends' who expect you to go back to normal cos you're in remission!
And just when i start to feel a bit more 'normal', its back again. Found unexpectedly whilst MRI for a bad back! Who'd have thought.
I feel like I'm Inspector Clouseau in the Pink Panther, living my life constantly on the alert for Cato (Hodgkins Lymphoma), the man servant, trained to attack when i least expect it!  And at the moment Cato is winning 2-1, but i have a 'behm' (bomb!) for my little yellow friend!