14.10.14

Look at the date. I do like symmetry, and i know its not complete symmetry, but its good enough to make me feel happy.
Is this the beginning of OCD?
Beginning? Who am i trying to kid. Well into my OCD. But i must say, having cancer and chemo has changed that somewhat.
I decorated the lounge at the weekend. All by myself, which I'm quite proud about. And it looks lovely. I still have to buy some throws for the sofas, and some wall art and a huge mirror, but its habitable.
I did 2 coats on each wall and an extra one on the brown wall as it was still patchy.
I did the woodwork, but heres where the OCD came into play, or would have done PC (pre chemo).
I rubbed half of it down! Got fed up with doing it and my hands were getting a bit scratchy. And i painted it, but not very well. It looks ok as long as you don't look closely with a magnifying glass. But if you did look with a magnifying glass, i would accuse you of having worse OCD than me.
And do you know what???? I really don't care.
Where is the Jill we know? What have you done with her?
I cleaned the filthy french windows. They're still smeary!!! I don't care! I can see the little robin who keeps visiting and staring through at me in various positions and poses. He's trying to make me feel guilty so i go out and buy more meal worms.
I quite like this new Jill. One who doesn't worry quite so much about things that aren't that important.
However..... you know how i tend to get irritated by idiots, I'm getting fed up with Jeremy Kyle. Not that i held I'm in high esteem at any point, but i suppose its dawned on me, either that or I've remembered, that he's an egotistical, judgemental, self righteous, twat!
The way, when people are waiting to find out if the DNA proves 'he is the father', or 'she hasn't had sexual intercourse with anyone else', he pauses, and quite a long pause. These are important issues to some people, not all of them, granted, but to the more normal types on his show, these govern whether their life is ruined or not.
Can you imagine going to the doctor to get your test results?
'The test results show that you...............................do not have cancer!'
And yet Jezza thinks its acceptable to leave people who are upset and stressed to wait, for the benefit of his bank balance and the suspense of the viewers, for the results.
Shocking!
See no OCD but i have picked up intolerance, big style, and the other thing is my awareness of danger, not only for myself, for anyone, in real life or even on TV. To animals especially.
I have suddenly become aware if i eat a sweet and cough i could choke! Or if i step up a kerb i could trip and sprain an ankle! It doesn't stop me eating sweets or stepping onto kerbs but i am aware of the imminent danger.
Is there any hope for me?