7.4.14
I didn't blog yesterday cos i had Jenni round and i was feeling ok. I can't keep opening a blog and just saying, 'I'm fine!' Or 'I don't feel well!' It gets a bit tedious.
Well listen up!!!
I feel so weird. Ive had a cough and cold since before chemo. About 10 days now. I haven't had a temp, and nothing looks infected, if you get me!!
But, maybe cos of the steroids that are immune suppressants, its not clearing up. So i went to bed last night at 11 ish, and I've only slept for about an hour because of the racket I'm making.
You know those cute teddy bears that you tip and they make a growling sound? Thats me! Im wheezy and my chest feels so tight.
Ive tried sleeping in the upright position, hence the hours sleep. But its really uncomfortable.
I don't know what to do.
Do i ring the hotline? What can they do? I could be admitted, maybe antibiotics. Or they could say, 'you're fine, go to sleep!'
I could ring the GP out of hours number. They could listen to my chest, but they probably won't give me anything cos they don't like to step on the toes of the 'cancer team'.
I just wish i could fall asleep and wake up feeling better.
Ill give it one more try and if i can't i may ring the hotline. This is the dilemma that we face. Don't know what to do!!!
Sunday, 6 April 2014
Saturday, 5 April 2014
5.4.14
Part 2
Turned out quite good in the end!
Not felt too bad. Still have the remnants of a cough and cold, but the normal, or previous chemo symptoms haven't really arrived with gusto! Im a lucky girl. Hope tomorrow it doesn't show its ugly head.
Be aware, when i say I'm not feeling too bad, that doesn't mean I'm feeling good. It just means I'm not grizzling and complaining as much as when I'm feeling dreadful.
To be fair, i don't think id notice any symptoms with all the food I've eaten today! I really wish i could stop. The steroids stop tomorrow so maybe next week ill be able to control my urges! Lets hope so otherwise I'm gonna have to buy a new, larger vehicle, and get some french doors fitted round the house.
Now, if the rain could just stop for tomorrow, i may be able to walk round the garden and maybe put a few plants in the ground.
Either way, I'm feeling a little positive. Hope I'm not being too previous!
Ill tell you the answer to that tomorrow morning.
Tatty bye.
Part 2
Turned out quite good in the end!
Not felt too bad. Still have the remnants of a cough and cold, but the normal, or previous chemo symptoms haven't really arrived with gusto! Im a lucky girl. Hope tomorrow it doesn't show its ugly head.
Be aware, when i say I'm not feeling too bad, that doesn't mean I'm feeling good. It just means I'm not grizzling and complaining as much as when I'm feeling dreadful.
To be fair, i don't think id notice any symptoms with all the food I've eaten today! I really wish i could stop. The steroids stop tomorrow so maybe next week ill be able to control my urges! Lets hope so otherwise I'm gonna have to buy a new, larger vehicle, and get some french doors fitted round the house.
Now, if the rain could just stop for tomorrow, i may be able to walk round the garden and maybe put a few plants in the ground.
Either way, I'm feeling a little positive. Hope I'm not being too previous!
Ill tell you the answer to that tomorrow morning.
Tatty bye.
5.4.14
Part 1
Chemo 1 - Jill 0
Here it is! I hoped i could hold back the symptoms this time with my creative use of steroids. But i was wrong!
Its not hideous at the mo, so don't feel the need to send some dishy paramedics round, and I'm hoping it doesn't get too bad. It was manageable last time with the following emotional day which I'm thinking will be monday. So no sympathy on monday please!
The mouth is throbbing, i had little sleep last night, so tired, and feeling very spaced out.
I shall continue with my day of TV, eating and rest and i will check in later with an update. Hopefully a not too bad update.
The rain doesn't help either!
Part 1
Chemo 1 - Jill 0
Here it is! I hoped i could hold back the symptoms this time with my creative use of steroids. But i was wrong!
Its not hideous at the mo, so don't feel the need to send some dishy paramedics round, and I'm hoping it doesn't get too bad. It was manageable last time with the following emotional day which I'm thinking will be monday. So no sympathy on monday please!
The mouth is throbbing, i had little sleep last night, so tired, and feeling very spaced out.
I shall continue with my day of TV, eating and rest and i will check in later with an update. Hopefully a not too bad update.
The rain doesn't help either!
Friday, 4 April 2014
4.4.14
An uneventful day.
Not feeling too bad.
Hoping it stays that way!
Ive started to cut down the steroids so time will tell.
What am i saying, an uneventful day? Ive had a very tasty day but without the taste. What I'm saying is, the steroids have kicked in!
I made the most wonderful sandwich. Green salad leaves, feta cheese, red onion relish. Last time it was in muffins, this time its as a sandwich. Unfortunately, Ruby managed to nick the top bit of bread off of half of the sandwich while my back was turned! She didn't manage to eat it, but neither did i!
But the other 3/4 was wonderful. I could taste it, which is weird cos my taste buds seem to have vamoosed at the mo.
I won't bore you with the larder full of food I've also eaten. Im trying to forget that bit. It doesn't help when there's adverts on TV for pizza, and burgers and all food thats naughty. I never normally eat those things, so why now?
When this chemos over i have lots of dieting to do, really looking forward to that!
The sleeping's been ok this time. Ive woken early but if i stopped falling into unconsciousness during the day id probably sleep later in the mornings. What i have found that is a positive is, before chemo i used to worry about things i should have done but thought maybe i hadn't. I would, in a slightly waken stupor, get out of bed, put my dressing gown on, and wander round the house trying to correct my error. Which of course there wasn't. I would eventually wake properly and reprimand myself and send myself back to bed where i would lay for a while wondering why i was an idiot!
Well i seem to have stopped doing that.
The thing i do in its place is worry that I've taken the really dangerous drugs that are prescribed to me, and I've taken them twice, overdosed in fact. Strange cos the drugs i am prescribed are very minor and unimportant. The worst i could do would be to over antacid myself, or make myself even more hungry with steroids!
Some you win, some you lose!
An uneventful day.
Not feeling too bad.
Hoping it stays that way!
Ive started to cut down the steroids so time will tell.
What am i saying, an uneventful day? Ive had a very tasty day but without the taste. What I'm saying is, the steroids have kicked in!
I made the most wonderful sandwich. Green salad leaves, feta cheese, red onion relish. Last time it was in muffins, this time its as a sandwich. Unfortunately, Ruby managed to nick the top bit of bread off of half of the sandwich while my back was turned! She didn't manage to eat it, but neither did i!
But the other 3/4 was wonderful. I could taste it, which is weird cos my taste buds seem to have vamoosed at the mo.
I won't bore you with the larder full of food I've also eaten. Im trying to forget that bit. It doesn't help when there's adverts on TV for pizza, and burgers and all food thats naughty. I never normally eat those things, so why now?
When this chemos over i have lots of dieting to do, really looking forward to that!
The sleeping's been ok this time. Ive woken early but if i stopped falling into unconsciousness during the day id probably sleep later in the mornings. What i have found that is a positive is, before chemo i used to worry about things i should have done but thought maybe i hadn't. I would, in a slightly waken stupor, get out of bed, put my dressing gown on, and wander round the house trying to correct my error. Which of course there wasn't. I would eventually wake properly and reprimand myself and send myself back to bed where i would lay for a while wondering why i was an idiot!
Well i seem to have stopped doing that.
The thing i do in its place is worry that I've taken the really dangerous drugs that are prescribed to me, and I've taken them twice, overdosed in fact. Strange cos the drugs i am prescribed are very minor and unimportant. The worst i could do would be to over antacid myself, or make myself even more hungry with steroids!
Some you win, some you lose!
Thursday, 3 April 2014
3.4.14
Grotty thursday.
Not feeling wonderful today. Not hideous, i can cope with it. However i feel its gonna get worse for a few days. But like I've said before, chemo never fails to amaze me. Just when i think i know whats gonna happen, it changes. So you never know i could have an amazing weekend. I can but hope. Either way, its gotta be done. Each day is nearer the end.
104 days till 16th july. Last chemo 8th july, all being well, and then a week to recover to a state where i can start to do things.
So what have i done today?
I woke at 5am.
Got up at 7 for a cup of hot water. Had a cuddle with the girls and then Lyn called round to take the darlings out for a walk. Lovely of her, cos I just don't have the energy at the mo. Hopefully by the weekend???
Then out of bed and sorted, and did a few very small chores.
Sam, my home slave, is incapacitated. He has a cough and cold, probably the one i started last friday and have the remnants of. So he's walking around the house like a member of the taliban - a cloth wrapped round his face to safeguard from the sand storms in afghanistan. Bless him, he's trying to not infect his mumma! Or re-infect.
A visit to the chemist for my prescription. I don't normally take any meds and suddenly i have heaps of different things for heaps of different symptoms. Luckily i get them free otherwise i would be bankrupt! £8.05 per item. Today alone would have been £24.15!
Then how sweet is this?
Grotty thursday.
Not feeling wonderful today. Not hideous, i can cope with it. However i feel its gonna get worse for a few days. But like I've said before, chemo never fails to amaze me. Just when i think i know whats gonna happen, it changes. So you never know i could have an amazing weekend. I can but hope. Either way, its gotta be done. Each day is nearer the end.
104 days till 16th july. Last chemo 8th july, all being well, and then a week to recover to a state where i can start to do things.
So what have i done today?
I woke at 5am.
Got up at 7 for a cup of hot water. Had a cuddle with the girls and then Lyn called round to take the darlings out for a walk. Lovely of her, cos I just don't have the energy at the mo. Hopefully by the weekend???
Then out of bed and sorted, and did a few very small chores.
Sam, my home slave, is incapacitated. He has a cough and cold, probably the one i started last friday and have the remnants of. So he's walking around the house like a member of the taliban - a cloth wrapped round his face to safeguard from the sand storms in afghanistan. Bless him, he's trying to not infect his mumma! Or re-infect.
A visit to the chemist for my prescription. I don't normally take any meds and suddenly i have heaps of different things for heaps of different symptoms. Luckily i get them free otherwise i would be bankrupt! £8.05 per item. Today alone would have been £24.15!
Then how sweet is this?
Dot and Ruby bought me a feel better gift. More beneficial than all the meds and only £1!!!
Now i am back on my bed hoping for a doze as i woke so early.
Why is it whenever i doze off, the phone rings or the door bell goes?
Fingers crossed!
Wednesday, 2 April 2014
2.4.14
This is my second blog today following a strong urge to eat a muffin with cheese and relish. It wasn't as wonderful as last time. All i can think is the taste buds have 'gone' quicker and the tongue is sore quicker. Maybe it will all go quicker too????? Wishful thinking.
So. What have i done that is so exciting i need to tell my blog about?
Sweet FA!
I took more steroids at 3 which is always good cos i have to have them with food. So a little tiramisu aided my medication. It slips down easily and is soft and cold and moist - perfect for a tender mouth.
And a twister ice lolly was also taken as medication for said sore tongue, and only 45 calories. I'll be a size 10 soon without even trying!!!
One thing I've realised is that my life is on hold. I don't mean to wish my life away, but I'm unable to do so many things that i could do before without getting so short of breath, and i can only do anything on week 2. My joys in life during week 1, are my sons, Linda, my dogs, and they can be a bit irritating if I'm feeling rough, my laptop and food. Week 2 i can add seeing friends, shopping (for a short while), going for short walks, lunch out and my real love at the mo, gardening.
I forgot to say earlier when i talked about my chat with Dr Jack that i have to have an MRI Scan on my right shoulder. The PET scan showed i have a hotspot there and although they believe it to be nothing to do with HL they feel i should have a scan to make sure. I think i know whats caused it. Gardening. Ive been sawing down some ivy. I didn't think id done too much. My shoulder doesn't feel sore at all. But i will be more gentle next week when i start the excavating again!
Although i do have a full week booked in already.
I think its fairly safe to sign off now. I don't envisage anything exciting happening before tomorrow!
Sam has gone out for the evening, leaving me home alone. What mischief can i get up to?
Please send suggestions cos for the life of me, i can't think of anything!
This is my second blog today following a strong urge to eat a muffin with cheese and relish. It wasn't as wonderful as last time. All i can think is the taste buds have 'gone' quicker and the tongue is sore quicker. Maybe it will all go quicker too????? Wishful thinking.
So. What have i done that is so exciting i need to tell my blog about?
Sweet FA!
I took more steroids at 3 which is always good cos i have to have them with food. So a little tiramisu aided my medication. It slips down easily and is soft and cold and moist - perfect for a tender mouth.
And a twister ice lolly was also taken as medication for said sore tongue, and only 45 calories. I'll be a size 10 soon without even trying!!!
One thing I've realised is that my life is on hold. I don't mean to wish my life away, but I'm unable to do so many things that i could do before without getting so short of breath, and i can only do anything on week 2. My joys in life during week 1, are my sons, Linda, my dogs, and they can be a bit irritating if I'm feeling rough, my laptop and food. Week 2 i can add seeing friends, shopping (for a short while), going for short walks, lunch out and my real love at the mo, gardening.
I forgot to say earlier when i talked about my chat with Dr Jack that i have to have an MRI Scan on my right shoulder. The PET scan showed i have a hotspot there and although they believe it to be nothing to do with HL they feel i should have a scan to make sure. I think i know whats caused it. Gardening. Ive been sawing down some ivy. I didn't think id done too much. My shoulder doesn't feel sore at all. But i will be more gentle next week when i start the excavating again!
Although i do have a full week booked in already.
I think its fairly safe to sign off now. I don't envisage anything exciting happening before tomorrow!
Sam has gone out for the evening, leaving me home alone. What mischief can i get up to?
Please send suggestions cos for the life of me, i can't think of anything!
2.4.14
So i missed a day!!!
It was chemo day. It went well. Everything was there ready waiting for me, so no hanging around.
Jo, my nurse for the day was lovely, as they've all been. Ive never met a nicer bunch at the Dorset Cancer Centre.
Saw Dr Jack. He's very happy with me!! He was very pleased with my PET scan results. A very good response. He assures me i must carry on with all the chemo cos it will put me in a very favourable group. The group of people that have a very good prognosis. And he stressed again, a very favourable group, that can be cured forever! A very nice thought. Id hate to finish the chemo earlier and it come back a few months later.
So, number 5 is done. 7 more.
Got home and didn't feel wonderful so went to bed. The shakes started and i was quite shocked cos last time i had the steroids i was really good when i got home until i stopped them on the friday. The nausea followed the shakes, but luckily it was only for about 4 hours and it wasn't really bad hideous nausea. Had a few digestive bickies and hey presto, recovery began. Had some beans with cheese. Something quick and carbohydrate. Ate about half of it. Lets hope i stay feeling ok.
Had a restless night. Woke regularly needing water. I have, as I've said before, this irritation to my digestive tract, mucositis. Due to me being a sensitive soul! The chemo has decided thats what its gonna do to me to remind me I've had lymphoma, and notice i say 'I've had' lymphoma. So i wake up and feel like my throat has closed up and 'stuck' together. The water remedies this straight away. But of course it happens often through the night. But hey ho!
This morning, feeling tired and exhausted, but other than that not too bad. My best friends, the steroids, are working their magic. I am starting to feel hungry, hungry, hungry. If i think of food, like a muffin with goats cheese, red onion relish, salad leaves and balsamic vinegar, my mouth waters so much. I don't know what is holding me back from running downstairs and doing it! Although I've only had some bickies with my meds that need to be taken with food, so I'm sure i must be due some brekkie. So i may have to finish my blog now and continue with another one a bit later.
You have to get your priorities right in life. Am i right?
So i missed a day!!!
It was chemo day. It went well. Everything was there ready waiting for me, so no hanging around.
Jo, my nurse for the day was lovely, as they've all been. Ive never met a nicer bunch at the Dorset Cancer Centre.
Saw Dr Jack. He's very happy with me!! He was very pleased with my PET scan results. A very good response. He assures me i must carry on with all the chemo cos it will put me in a very favourable group. The group of people that have a very good prognosis. And he stressed again, a very favourable group, that can be cured forever! A very nice thought. Id hate to finish the chemo earlier and it come back a few months later.
So, number 5 is done. 7 more.
Got home and didn't feel wonderful so went to bed. The shakes started and i was quite shocked cos last time i had the steroids i was really good when i got home until i stopped them on the friday. The nausea followed the shakes, but luckily it was only for about 4 hours and it wasn't really bad hideous nausea. Had a few digestive bickies and hey presto, recovery began. Had some beans with cheese. Something quick and carbohydrate. Ate about half of it. Lets hope i stay feeling ok.
Had a restless night. Woke regularly needing water. I have, as I've said before, this irritation to my digestive tract, mucositis. Due to me being a sensitive soul! The chemo has decided thats what its gonna do to me to remind me I've had lymphoma, and notice i say 'I've had' lymphoma. So i wake up and feel like my throat has closed up and 'stuck' together. The water remedies this straight away. But of course it happens often through the night. But hey ho!
This morning, feeling tired and exhausted, but other than that not too bad. My best friends, the steroids, are working their magic. I am starting to feel hungry, hungry, hungry. If i think of food, like a muffin with goats cheese, red onion relish, salad leaves and balsamic vinegar, my mouth waters so much. I don't know what is holding me back from running downstairs and doing it! Although I've only had some bickies with my meds that need to be taken with food, so I'm sure i must be due some brekkie. So i may have to finish my blog now and continue with another one a bit later.
You have to get your priorities right in life. Am i right?
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