23.3.14

An uneventful day.
Walked the dogs.
Visited sainsburys for a few provisions.
Watched TV.
I have a sore tongue - although not sore enough to stop me eating, you'll be glad to hear! Or talking, although not seen anyone to talk to today other than a cashier at sainsburys and Sam in halftime!
But worry you not!
Tomorrow, apart from some plants being delivered for my garden, i have some lung function tests arranged for the afternoon! Really looking forward to that!
So i'll be back with the gruesome details tomorrow!
TTFN !!!

22.3.14

I will apologise for my 'no show' yesterday. I was feeling ok, but extremely tired.
I woke at 5am, and was unable to doze back off.
I did however manage to do a little shopping with Linda, and some lunch out.
For quite a while, years in fact, i have been aware of the fact that deodorant sprayed onto the skin is not good for us. One, the spray can be inhaled, and two, the chemicals apparently are found in biopsied breast lumps. Whether it caused the lump or just found its way to the lump, I'm not sure. So for many years i used an aluminium crystal deodorant in the hope that it was better for me. It didn't really do me that much good in hindsight, as i am blogging about my cancer experience!!!
But anyway, my crystal smashed a long time ago and i never got round to getting another, so yesterday was the day.
I went to Boots to look for one.
I think I've mentioned I have a strong dislikes of smells at the mo. Obviously to do with the chemo. Not to do with HRT, as i was advised by a concerned friend! Specially cos I'm not on HRT!!!
Anyway, I walk into Boots, and the smells! Every perfume that ever was, enveloped my nostrils. I can't bare it. It makes me light headed and nauseous. So after finding the said deodorant, i made a hasty retreat.
M&S for lunch where i broke the cardinal rule!!! I had salad, with a jacket potato and tuna mayo. If I have to put up with pegfilgastrim jab each chemo day which stimulates the bone marrow to produce white cells, then i think i must have enough white cells to fight off any bacteria that may be on the uncooked vegetables. And I'm still alive to tell the tale. Oh i did enjoy it.
Then home for a doze before visiting Mary, my old nursey friend, for dinner and to watch The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel in her own little home cinema. Had a lovely evening full of reminiscing, laughter and eating Marys home made strawberry granita, strawberry ice-cream and vanilla ice-cream, and champagne truffles under the ambient flickering lights of the film. Luckily it was fairly dark cos i managed to eat more truffles than Mary!
Then home to bedfordshire, but i still managed to wake at 5am this morning!
And another day of Ladies who Lunch. Off to the Captains Club with Louise as an early Mothers Day treat.

And the most beautiful flowers and card that she'd written inside, 'If i had the chance to have chosen  a mum, id have chosen one like you!' It made me cry, just a little bit of course!!!
We shared a baked camembert (another no no!!), i had ricotta, pine nuts and courgette lasagne, which was a little odd, i must say. It wasn't baked. It was a little bland, but ok, followed by chocolate fondant with honeycomb ice-cream. Not as nice as the apple tarte tatin that i had last time, but still very nice.
Then home for a little bit of gardening, despite the fact that the pegfilgastrim makes my back ache, and thats me for the day.
Looking forward to The Voice on TV this evening, but i have a dilemma.
Do i have the maltesers, or the sweet popcorn whilst i watch it?
Decisions, decisions, decisions!!!

20.3.14

Feeling good today.
Had a brekky of shreddies, again. Then went to meet my boss for a coffee. She talked me into a second brekky of a bacon bap. OMG it was wonderful, just slightly toasted bap, with 3 pieces of nicely cooked bacon. Then dashed to meet my friend for her birthday lunch! Jacket potato with cheese and beans. Strangely, i couldn't eat it all!
I bought some plants to go in my garden, now Sams dug most of it up! They are delivered on monday so Sam has a few days to build up the energy he'll need to plant them all. Thats gonna be fun to watch! Or supervise!
Then more food when i had another visitor. That'll be my Jenni.
She's just opened a Just Giving page. Cos she loves me, she's gonna cut her hair short and give her ponytail to a company who makes wigs for chemo patients. Then she's gonna give blood, and then Race for Life in june. This is her Just Giving page in case anyone would like to donate, or even just to read and enjoy the journey.

http://www.justgiving.com/Jenni-Chohra/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=fundraisingpage&utm_content=Jenni-Chohra&utm_campaign=pfp-share

This is a photo of us at Christmas just before i was diagnosed. Im looking forward to seeing her photos of her 'haircut'!
She's a lovely girl. So caring, but far too cheeky for my liking!!
Anyway, id better go eat something before i fade away.

19.3.14

Im feeling so ill!!!!
Ive just devoured some peanut buttercup Ben and Jerrys ice-cream. I don't think thats the correct name, but I'm so full up that i can't be bothered to go and check the name on the carton!
I could really taste it. It was so peanutty and smooth and sweet and sooooooo lovely.
Yes the switch has been flicked. Im alive again, and for 2 whole weeks until number 5.
And what a day.
I, and a few of my new family on the hodgkins lymphoma Facebook page, are having issues with the new breast cancer awareness nomination and donation idea. The idea is, you nominate people to take a selfie wearing no makeup. When they take their photo and put it on Facebook, you then have to donate to breast cancer research. A good idea in theory, but it seems the full story isn't being passed on and people are just putting photos of themselves, make up free, with no donation.
Not only is this pointless, but its also very disheartening to people presently undergoing chemo.
Its quite depressing to see ladies with clean faces, smiling carefree, with good skin, hair, eyebrows and eyelashes, when we are suffering with loss of facial hair, thin scraggy head hair, or bald in some instances, dull lifeless skin, looking like death and unable to find the energy to smile.
I know, maybe we're being sensitive, but chemo makes you sensitive.
Well having shared various posts about the rules, and making my feelings clear, it seems to have had a real turnaround. People are donating left, right and centre. People are telling me their plans of fundraising. Things they have done in the past and continue to do to raise money. Just giving pages being started all over the shop.
So all in all.......... an absolute success.
Its so nice to see so many people doing so much to help out with the fight for cancer, the scourge of our lifetime.
Did a bit of gardening. When i say this, you are aware i mean Sam did some gardening, aren't you? I am the supervisor. And if i do say so myself, i did a jolly good job. Sam did well too. Dug up a bed, ripping out some very old plants, whose roots where nearly all the way down to Aus! All ready for me to purchase a couple of plants and create a fragrant, and serene garden. I ❤️ my garden!
Ive had Linda round for lunch - can you guess what we had? Yes, the muffin, goats cheese and red onion relish. Its an absolute winner. Chillout in the summerhouse whilst the sun shone.
A food shopping trip - hence the ice-cream. And then Linzi and Rachel visiting at 4pm. Except someone forgot to tell them it was ok for them to visit!! Wonder who that could be?
And they brought me some gifts.

Lemon cakeys, Maltesers, Chocolate bunnies and some daffs. Easter and spring merged into one. How sweet is that? Couple of hours of chatting and then I'm left to my own devices. 

Dinner followed by a volcanic eruption of ice-cream, and I'm really feeling stuffed. I shall blame the steroids of course!

18.3.14

Tuesday. The beginning of week 2. Feeling any better?
Im sure im better than i was, but its not a huge recovery this time. It started so well. The steroids made me feel better for the first few days, but its been slow ever since.
I know its something i have to go through, but really, you'd think someone could put in a good word for me!
Its weird, cos sometimes i don't realise I'm feeling better. All of a sudden it dawns on me. The feeling that i have a drainpipe rammed down my throat has gone. The ache in my tummy that makes me rub circles to try and alleviate it stops. The tingling, tender mouth starts to settle. The mild, but relentless nausea and headache leaves without saying goodbye. The tears that just spring to my eyes for no real reason dry up.
Then you think..........party time!!!
Party time means my taste buds awaken, very slightly. I can concentrate a little more on things (debatable), and usually on food. I feel the need to catch up on the taste I've missed for the previous week. I can pull my leggings up over my tummy without pulling the face of an angry wasp cos i don't like the pressure.  And joy of joys, i can have a cup of tea. Still black and weak, but it beats boiled water. Im hoping i can cut down on the gaviscon too. Its like swallowing toothpaste, but not that easy. It doesn't want to go over the swallow limit. I can stand there for 5 minutes trying to will myself to just 'swallow the damn stuff'.
Well I'm sat here in the living room. The sun is shining intermittently through the window onto me. It feels so nice.
I am starting to feel hungry. I feel the need to have some carbohydrate, by way of muffins with cheese and onion, or scrambled egg and bacon. I may have to nip to the shop as i have no bread in any form in the house.
I think i have turned a corner!
Only 8 more corners to turn!

16.3.14

You tend to think you understand your chemo. You have a few sessions and think you got it sorted. You know whats gonna happen. Then bang...... and it all changes and mucks you up again.
I was sorted.
Take the anti sickness and steroids and you recover quicker. But now.........
I have taken on a few different side effects. Ive mentioned the irritation to the digestive tract, and the throbbing mouth. Now i have a few mouth ulcers, sore throat, and a tingling in my mouth. I also have minor stabbing pains all over my body. And last but not least, and I'm not sure how to describe this phenomena, 'tender' areas all over. If you were to poke me almost anywhere, in fact it doesn't have to be a poke, a touch even, its very tender, my neck in particular. In fact the whole of the top part of my body.  Oh joy!!!!
Its bearable, but id rather not have these newbies.
And whats worse is, I'm hungry, but don't wanna eat anything cos my mouth feels weird! Im sure i won't fade away tho. Ive put weight on, be it fat or water retention!
The motto of a chemo sufferer.......
Maybe tomorrow?

15.3.14

Come back steroids, all is forgiven!
Woken up with a throbbing mouth and ache from my throat to the bottom of my stomach. Thats what happens when you think you're feeling better and stop the steroids too soon. I'll remember this next time and take it for another day.
Lansoprazole, gaviscon and ibuprofen. Don't shake me cos i rattle!
Feeling better, so up and at 'em.
A little gardening with Sam. He's been wonderful. He's loaded boxes and bags with ivy and branches that he's pruned. He's been back and forth to the tip about 5 times, while i potter about the garden with the odd twig in my hand that i chuck in a box and pretend I'm helping.
And if thats not enough, I've taken all of the 'junk' off the welsh dresser to move it into another room to unclutter the living room. I think someone should remind me i should be relaxing. Relaxing is so last year though.
Isn't it amazing what a little sun can do. A few rays and everyones happy. Everyones busy.
Nearly finished. Dresser's moved, just need to reorganise the living room. I just wish i could do it all myself and not have to wait for others to help. Roll on july when i can get back to normality, hopefully.
Just waiting for a chicken and veg to cook, the first proper meal I've cooked for a while. And hoping the throbbing mouth subsides for a while.
All done.......and relax.