14.3.14
Part 2
Home, doggies walked, in bed for a doze - its not happening!
I did however have a phone call from Dr Jack whilst i walked the dogs. Its getting a bit embarrassing now, all the calls etc. Oh no, hang on a minute, i rang him! Only to check if i could cut out the steroids - all the eating and waking during the night was getting annoying. I live in a dream world, don't i?
So, bath, and then a trip to sainsburys for a few provisions. Unfortunately, the steroids took hold of my credit card and the food trolley! I did buy a chicken and some veg to try and eat healthily, i got myself a curry, my spicy food of choice whilst my taste buds faff about, cheese, tinned tomatoes, and, wait for it........
raspberry trifle, Gu almond and cherry dessert, and some dairy free raspberry and mango ice cream!
Enough to last me for a whole week!!!
And it absolutely wore me out. I was only gone for about 3/4 hour and i was absolutely shattered. Amazing!
I enjoyed my muffin with goats cheese and red onion relish again, 3rd day in a row. If nothing else, I'm repetitive.
And then Sam decided to do some pruning in the garden, and i was the superviser. A few hours later and theres no garden left, and a few trips to the tip to look forward to tomorrow.
Its nice to do normal things. Im not really capable of doing much without getting short of breath, and i have to be careful not to scratch myself in the garden, or graze myself in case it gets infected, but its nice to see things being done that id like to do. I look forward to my chemo ending in july, all being well. Then i hope to recover from all my side effects and be able to do things again without puffing like a train.
Its amazing how you start to be in tune with your symptoms, and you fall into step with them. You go into auto pilot and treat them all as they occur, and sometimes before they've even started. You almost beat them to it. They're treated before they've even raised their ugly heads.
My latest is the irritated stomach lining, from mouth to stomach. My mouth throbs and my stomach aches. Nothing hideous, but annoying and irritating. Gaviscon mint! Does the trick as well as the Lansoprazole - a proton-pump inhibitor which inhibits the stomach's production of gastric acids! Im like a walking pharmacy at the moment.
Well my eyes are getting heavy, its gone 9.30pm, way past my bedtime (steroid induced of course). So i shall bid you a good night, and hope to goodness i have a better nights sleep.
Nighty night.
Friday, 14 March 2014
Thursday, 13 March 2014
14.3.14
Part 1
Oh steroids, how fickle you are. Or am i the fickle one?
One minute i am desperately in need of you to stop the nausea and to pick me up and put me on my feet again, and then you change into the devil and make me loathe you. Its 4.20am and I've been awake for a while. My mind is whirring. Im hungry - but resisting! And i feel i have put weight on and have a moon face! Yes, all the things a girl hates.
And the hair........ but thats not your fault Mr Steroid. Just another annoyance.
The only good thing is that i have the whole weekend to recover with no work or plans, other than to walk the dogs and get some exercise, and a few little chores round the house if I'm up to it.
Oh and of course i may phone Dr Jack for some steroid advice, later on of course. Its a bit early to ring him now!
Anyway, it was just a quickie. I will do Part 2 later on in the day when i have something more to say. Right now i have a date with some games on Facebook!
See ya later alligator.
Part 1
Oh steroids, how fickle you are. Or am i the fickle one?
One minute i am desperately in need of you to stop the nausea and to pick me up and put me on my feet again, and then you change into the devil and make me loathe you. Its 4.20am and I've been awake for a while. My mind is whirring. Im hungry - but resisting! And i feel i have put weight on and have a moon face! Yes, all the things a girl hates.
And the hair........ but thats not your fault Mr Steroid. Just another annoyance.
The only good thing is that i have the whole weekend to recover with no work or plans, other than to walk the dogs and get some exercise, and a few little chores round the house if I'm up to it.
Oh and of course i may phone Dr Jack for some steroid advice, later on of course. Its a bit early to ring him now!
Anyway, it was just a quickie. I will do Part 2 later on in the day when i have something more to say. Right now i have a date with some games on Facebook!
See ya later alligator.
13.3.14
What a fantastic day!
Got home from work and walked the doggies. Home for a healthy cooked breakfast.
Doctors telephone appointment to sort some meds. Organised a professional oven cleaner to come and sort out the filthy oven that came with the house when i bought it. Excellent range oven, which they said they'd have professionally cleaned - i don't think so, but then that is in keeping with the rest of the promises and lies!
Anyway no negativity - until later in my blog!
I did some very mild gardening for about half an hour. Meaning, i put some stones down by a little bridge and rockery by the summer house. Then i put some shells on top that Linda had picked for me from the beach since the storm throw them up on the shore. It looks lovely, and i feel i have achieved something. Its amazing how tired something so small makes me so tired.
I went to bed for an hour or so for a nap, followed by a lovely soak in the bath.
Sam went off to the doctors to collect my prescription and to take it to the chemist. I advised him i don't pay for prescriptions, theres a box on the back to tick.
'Just ask the girls in the chemist and they will tell you which one if you say I'm having chemo.'
He returned without the prescription. They told him, 'if you don't know which box we can't let you have the drugs without paying!'
So i walked round there in the sunshine.
They assured me they had acted correctly. They didn't know which box needed to be ticked. I told them he was supposed to say i was having chemo.
'No he never told us that.'
Not for one minute did i believe that, but i checked with Sam, and he did tell them.
So they muttered an apology and i came home with some antacid and cream!
Never mind, worse things happen at sea.
Then Linda arrived for lunch.
We had muffins with goats cheese and red onion relish, as it went down so well yesterday. Not quite as tasty as my taste buds take on the battering from the chemo. But still lovely. Then a piece of chocolate cake and a cup of tea in the summer house.
Then Linda trimmed my drastically falling hair, although i still have beautiful eyebrows!
The post arrived at 3pm with a voucher from Marks and Spencers as I'm a member of the premier club. I couldn't believe it expired today and i only received it at 3pm so i phoned up to complain. The lady was very polite, as always, but felt she couldn't help. She couldn't believe i had only received it today at 3pm! I felt my hackles rise.
'Please read what it says on the voucher, ma'am'
So, very clearly, to the point of sarcasm, i read what it said, '£10 towards home, clothing or lingerie, expiring on 13th april 2014. Today,' i sarcastically pointed out.'
Then the penny dropped. Then i realised, its the 13th March today. Time to grovel!
I apologised profusely. 'Sorry, its my error. Don't be confused any more,' i beseeched her. 'All i can say is that I'm having chemo and its made me stupid!'
Luckily she was very sweet and understanding. But i did feel a pillock!
It gave Linda and i a giggle.
I must say its really nice to have an excuse for being stupid at times. Chemo brain.
But all in all, even despite the bits of negativity, its been a good day.
Looking forward to another one tomorrow.
What a fantastic day!
Got home from work and walked the doggies. Home for a healthy cooked breakfast.
Doctors telephone appointment to sort some meds. Organised a professional oven cleaner to come and sort out the filthy oven that came with the house when i bought it. Excellent range oven, which they said they'd have professionally cleaned - i don't think so, but then that is in keeping with the rest of the promises and lies!
Anyway no negativity - until later in my blog!
I did some very mild gardening for about half an hour. Meaning, i put some stones down by a little bridge and rockery by the summer house. Then i put some shells on top that Linda had picked for me from the beach since the storm throw them up on the shore. It looks lovely, and i feel i have achieved something. Its amazing how tired something so small makes me so tired.
I went to bed for an hour or so for a nap, followed by a lovely soak in the bath.
Sam went off to the doctors to collect my prescription and to take it to the chemist. I advised him i don't pay for prescriptions, theres a box on the back to tick.
'Just ask the girls in the chemist and they will tell you which one if you say I'm having chemo.'
He returned without the prescription. They told him, 'if you don't know which box we can't let you have the drugs without paying!'
So i walked round there in the sunshine.
They assured me they had acted correctly. They didn't know which box needed to be ticked. I told them he was supposed to say i was having chemo.
'No he never told us that.'
Not for one minute did i believe that, but i checked with Sam, and he did tell them.
So they muttered an apology and i came home with some antacid and cream!
Never mind, worse things happen at sea.
Then Linda arrived for lunch.
We had muffins with goats cheese and red onion relish, as it went down so well yesterday. Not quite as tasty as my taste buds take on the battering from the chemo. But still lovely. Then a piece of chocolate cake and a cup of tea in the summer house.
Then Linda trimmed my drastically falling hair, although i still have beautiful eyebrows!
The post arrived at 3pm with a voucher from Marks and Spencers as I'm a member of the premier club. I couldn't believe it expired today and i only received it at 3pm so i phoned up to complain. The lady was very polite, as always, but felt she couldn't help. She couldn't believe i had only received it today at 3pm! I felt my hackles rise.
'Please read what it says on the voucher, ma'am'
So, very clearly, to the point of sarcasm, i read what it said, '£10 towards home, clothing or lingerie, expiring on 13th april 2014. Today,' i sarcastically pointed out.'
Then the penny dropped. Then i realised, its the 13th March today. Time to grovel!
I apologised profusely. 'Sorry, its my error. Don't be confused any more,' i beseeched her. 'All i can say is that I'm having chemo and its made me stupid!'
Luckily she was very sweet and understanding. But i did feel a pillock!
It gave Linda and i a giggle.
I must say its really nice to have an excuse for being stupid at times. Chemo brain.
But all in all, even despite the bits of negativity, its been a good day.
Looking forward to another one tomorrow.
Wednesday, 12 March 2014
12.3.14
GOOD MORNING ONE AND ALL
I am happy to announce i feel wonderful. Well thats exaggerating just a bit, but considering how i felt this time 2 and 4 weeks ago, I'm buzzing, and i don't mean cos of the steroids either.
The treatment was straight forward. Had a fair bit of waiting around cos the drugs are never ready waiting even tho they've known for 2 weeks i will be there. But yesterday the nurses were run off their feet, more than usual. The nurses, i must say, have all been wonderful. Friendly, caring, helpful, and very kind and understanding. All except the nurse on the hotline that i came across after my 2nd treatment. But she doesn't work on the chemo ward (Dorset Cancer Centre, catchy name!), which is just as well cos i don't think the patients would turn up if she was their nurse.
Chatted with Dr Jack. I think he's falling for me!!! He pops in to see me regularly and yesterday, during a conversation about losing hair etc, he said, and get this for a chat up line, 'you still have your beautiful eyebrows!' And for a special treat for the new woman in his life (me, in case you've lost track), he wrote me up for a new anti-sickness tablet and some steroids, AND he said any problems, call me! Needless to say, last night i didn't call him, I'm playing hard to get.
So, uneventful treatment. I dozed for hour and a half, which was good. Had a sandwich for lunch. The first mouthful tasted of nothing - due to the treatment, not hospital food. The nurse recommended putting crisps in it, Me Linda was packed off to the the shop and came back armed with ready salted crisps and a twirl. The Cadbury variety, i don't mean she danced into the room.
The sandwich was a success, and so was the twirl. Now however the taste buds have gone again.
Everything tastes of cardboard for a couple of weeks. Which you would think would curb my appetite, but with the steroids, no way. Sam is on kitchen duties this week. If he sees me come in, he is under strict instructions to lock all the cupboards, block the fridge and even hide the dog food!
Usually, or last time anyway, i start to go down towards the end of the treatment. I go very quiet, very pale and tired looking, and i just wanna go home.
This time it was different. We laughed and giggled all the way home. Linda and i had a drink in the summerhouse before she got home to her husband.
The evening was spent watching tv, laptopping (if thats a word), messaging friends who kindly asked how i was, and i cooked a sumptuous meal of Heinz spagetti and a toasted muffin, which hit the spot. I apologise in advance for the menu for this week. It will be full of crap more than likely. Foods that i can doctor to be spicy, that i fancy. A bit like pregnancy again. Heinz beans with brown sauce and grated cheese is a favourite of week one. Thats why on week 2 theres usually photos of the posh nosh from restaurants i visit. Week 2 my taste buds seem to come back to life, and i take advantage.
Well following this dose, i have a week 3 as well. I hear you gasp in amazement. I have a PET scan in week 2, so the the chemo is the following week. I have a gap week! Im so excited. Ill have taste buds, feel more normal, and i can get to visit some friends that i haven't seen for a while. I might be able to instruct Sam to do some gardening too, if the weather stays good.
So on that euphoric note, I'm off. I got an appointment with daytime tv, i may even be able to tolerate Jeremy Kyle today!
GOOD MORNING ONE AND ALL
I am happy to announce i feel wonderful. Well thats exaggerating just a bit, but considering how i felt this time 2 and 4 weeks ago, I'm buzzing, and i don't mean cos of the steroids either.
The treatment was straight forward. Had a fair bit of waiting around cos the drugs are never ready waiting even tho they've known for 2 weeks i will be there. But yesterday the nurses were run off their feet, more than usual. The nurses, i must say, have all been wonderful. Friendly, caring, helpful, and very kind and understanding. All except the nurse on the hotline that i came across after my 2nd treatment. But she doesn't work on the chemo ward (Dorset Cancer Centre, catchy name!), which is just as well cos i don't think the patients would turn up if she was their nurse.
Chatted with Dr Jack. I think he's falling for me!!! He pops in to see me regularly and yesterday, during a conversation about losing hair etc, he said, and get this for a chat up line, 'you still have your beautiful eyebrows!' And for a special treat for the new woman in his life (me, in case you've lost track), he wrote me up for a new anti-sickness tablet and some steroids, AND he said any problems, call me! Needless to say, last night i didn't call him, I'm playing hard to get.
So, uneventful treatment. I dozed for hour and a half, which was good. Had a sandwich for lunch. The first mouthful tasted of nothing - due to the treatment, not hospital food. The nurse recommended putting crisps in it, Me Linda was packed off to the the shop and came back armed with ready salted crisps and a twirl. The Cadbury variety, i don't mean she danced into the room.
The sandwich was a success, and so was the twirl. Now however the taste buds have gone again.
Everything tastes of cardboard for a couple of weeks. Which you would think would curb my appetite, but with the steroids, no way. Sam is on kitchen duties this week. If he sees me come in, he is under strict instructions to lock all the cupboards, block the fridge and even hide the dog food!
Usually, or last time anyway, i start to go down towards the end of the treatment. I go very quiet, very pale and tired looking, and i just wanna go home.
This time it was different. We laughed and giggled all the way home. Linda and i had a drink in the summerhouse before she got home to her husband.
The evening was spent watching tv, laptopping (if thats a word), messaging friends who kindly asked how i was, and i cooked a sumptuous meal of Heinz spagetti and a toasted muffin, which hit the spot. I apologise in advance for the menu for this week. It will be full of crap more than likely. Foods that i can doctor to be spicy, that i fancy. A bit like pregnancy again. Heinz beans with brown sauce and grated cheese is a favourite of week one. Thats why on week 2 theres usually photos of the posh nosh from restaurants i visit. Week 2 my taste buds seem to come back to life, and i take advantage.
Well following this dose, i have a week 3 as well. I hear you gasp in amazement. I have a PET scan in week 2, so the the chemo is the following week. I have a gap week! Im so excited. Ill have taste buds, feel more normal, and i can get to visit some friends that i haven't seen for a while. I might be able to instruct Sam to do some gardening too, if the weather stays good.
So on that euphoric note, I'm off. I got an appointment with daytime tv, i may even be able to tolerate Jeremy Kyle today!
Monday, 10 March 2014
11.3.14
Good morning.
Number 4 is here!
Not looking forward to it, but hoping IV dexamethasone will be my saviour. I had it the first time, and i didn't feel too bad, so hoping it will save me from a few bad days if i have it again.
Not much to say except i had a wonderful time at Rockchoir last night, but i always have this negative feeling there cos i know the next day is poison day.
If i do get the IV dex, it will not only make me hungry, it will make me a bit wired, so i will probably be blogging at 3am.
See you then.
Good morning.
Number 4 is here!
Not looking forward to it, but hoping IV dexamethasone will be my saviour. I had it the first time, and i didn't feel too bad, so hoping it will save me from a few bad days if i have it again.
Not much to say except i had a wonderful time at Rockchoir last night, but i always have this negative feeling there cos i know the next day is poison day.
If i do get the IV dex, it will not only make me hungry, it will make me a bit wired, so i will probably be blogging at 3am.
See you then.
Sunday, 9 March 2014
9.3.14
Happy sunday and happy birthday to Kerrie (me Lindas girlie).
We went to Studland for a walk as it was such beautiful day. And everyone else had the same idea. Literally, everyone and their dog!
We walked for a while, and then back to the cafe for a cup of tea and a cakey. It was so nice. The sun makes everyone feel so happy. And it makes some people say silly things! Talking about Indian takeaways.
'Heart of India, i thought that was a chinese restaurant!!!' Now I'm not gonna name and shame, but it wasn't me!!
Well, i felt so happy when i got back, so what better than to sing a song! A positive, uplifting song. Lily Allen sang it so well, so i apologise to Lily for not doing it justice. But I quite enjoyed changing the words to suit my 'condition'. It put a smile on my face anyway.
Now, feeling a little tired after all the sea air, and all the singing. So a little sit down before i start dinner. Im hoping the weathers here to stay for a while, certainly tomorrow. A day of blood tests and then lunch with me Linda........again!!!
Friday, 7 March 2014
7.3.14
'Is that a wig?'
Charming!
I visited an old friend today, Julie. Well she's not old but I've known her a long time. She's definitely not old, cos she's the same age as me! Ive known her for about 30 years.
She's been through breast cancer so she knows what I'm going through, so i was invited to see her lovely new home near Dorchester. And her lovely dog, Ted.
So, other than a smile and a hug, she asked, 'Is that a wig? It looks very natural!' Bless her, it was my own hair, gradually thinned, and left to do its own thing. If it were a wig, id be asking for my money back.
We had a lovely day. Her new house, or cottage, is right on the river. We watched the water flowing and the birds darting about. Its just my type of house. Nicely decorated, beautifully finished.
We had quiche for lunch, she assured me she made it herself. Lemon cake for afters, again she tried to convince me, but the box was a give away. We laughed, something i do a lot of, as well as eating of course.
She certainly made me feel better following my recent negativity. She told me at this stage she seemed to 'get used' to the chemo and coped better with it. Thats not to say i will have the same experience, but it gives you hope rather than being told its all downhill, it builds up!
And then it was time for home.
Julie could tell I've been wasting away so i was packed off with a box of choccies.
'Is that a wig?'
Charming!
I visited an old friend today, Julie. Well she's not old but I've known her a long time. She's definitely not old, cos she's the same age as me! Ive known her for about 30 years.
She's been through breast cancer so she knows what I'm going through, so i was invited to see her lovely new home near Dorchester. And her lovely dog, Ted.
So, other than a smile and a hug, she asked, 'Is that a wig? It looks very natural!' Bless her, it was my own hair, gradually thinned, and left to do its own thing. If it were a wig, id be asking for my money back.
We had a lovely day. Her new house, or cottage, is right on the river. We watched the water flowing and the birds darting about. Its just my type of house. Nicely decorated, beautifully finished.
We had quiche for lunch, she assured me she made it herself. Lemon cake for afters, again she tried to convince me, but the box was a give away. We laughed, something i do a lot of, as well as eating of course.
She certainly made me feel better following my recent negativity. She told me at this stage she seemed to 'get used' to the chemo and coped better with it. Thats not to say i will have the same experience, but it gives you hope rather than being told its all downhill, it builds up!
And then it was time for home.
Julie could tell I've been wasting away so i was packed off with a box of choccies.
I now have a lovely weekend to look forward to before bloods on monday, and lunch out with me Linda. And then number 4 - quarter of the way through. Followed by a scan where i will find out how the treatment is working......or not!
Another exciting instalment tomorrow!
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